Oh how I do appreciate Mr. Twain...

Good ol' Sammy Clemens...He had such a wonderful ability to express the true feelings of his heart without worrying about how other people will feel and react. Here are some of my favorite "Twainisms" :)


"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them."

"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."

"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in."

"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it."

"Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates."

"After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her."

"Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement."

"I like a thin book because it can steady a table, a leather volume because it will strop a razor, and a heavy book because it can be thrown at a cat."

"Don't look at the world with your hands in your pockets. To write about it you have to reach out and touch it."

"I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone." (I like this one, in particular, because I do not enjoy Jane Austen novels...)

"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

"Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE" (preface to The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn- my favorite book ever!)

"I was born lazy. I am no lazier now than I was forty years ago, but that is because I reached the limit forty years ago. You can't go beyond possibility."

"In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them."

Honeymooners

So today was the first day back at school. I woke up with a headache just thinking about the problems and the horrible behavior that the kids would have today coming back. Guess what? They were really good, but the headache persisted even though I only had minor problems...
Minor Problem #1....a kid knocking on the door for twenty mins this morning hoping that I would bring out the balls... he just kept knocking and staring in the window, and despite the fact that he could see that I was there and was not going to get up and bring out the balls, he kept knocking. I wanted him to get the clue that he needs to be polite and just let me work whether or not he can see that I am in the room or not. So when he came in, he got to start off the new year by changing his card at 9:01 am. Hahahaha.....
Minor Problem #2 could be expected by a child I will call Billy. Billy is somewhat of a brat, if I can say so. He is always arguing with me before he even checks to see what I am talking about. For example, if he gets a question wrong, he will whine, "no it's not" before he even sees if he put an answer down. So today, he brought a paper up to me and I said, "Billy, you didn't put your name on your paper." Then it came, the protest, as if I would lie to him... "Yes, I diiiiiiiiiiiiid!!" So I said, "Billy please go change your card." Then, the same thing as always, "Ohhhh I'm sorry," and the crying begins. What can I do to keep my sanity here?
Minor Problem #3 . . . Another somewhat challenging, but very bright, highly gifted boy who likes to get into power struggles was not paying very good attention and after a couple of requests to focus more, warning him that the next time he was not looking at the board and listening, he would change his card, he decided to roll his eyes at me. Hellooooo? How rude! So I said, "Did you just roll your eyes at me?" No answer. Please go change your card. He was fine the rest of the day.

So, I guess it was actually a really great day, after all. But, I can't be too excited. It will be back to "normal" here in a few days. This is what we in the education world call the "Honeymoon Period," which happens at the beginning of the year and after long vacations, if you are lucky. But you can't let it fool you. Don't judge the kids as angels until they prove to be that good even after a week or so.

Texas RoadHouse Sunday Surprise

As my family and I were breaking our fast this afternoon at Texas Roadhouse Grill, that Elder Holland and his WHOLE family (mother, wife, kids, and grandkids) were in the booth and tables behind us eating.They appeared to be celebrating his mother's birthday. My mom died when I tried to sneak a cell phone pic, so sorry, I don't have proof, but my word is as good as a picture! It was awesome.He was sitting at the little kids table and growling to make them laugh. He was eating ice cream and sharing it with the little kids. He was in his standard suit and tie! LOL. He paid with his credit card and after he signed the slip he handed it to the guy and said, "Thank you, buddy." As we left, I overheard one of the hostesses say to the server, "So you got to meet Elder Holland, huh?" And he just said, "Yep!" Awesome.

Finally putting all the pieces together: Those Crazy Housewives of Wisteria Lane

So I have been a Desperate Housewives junkie for several years now and at first it was quite funny. But now, each episode is a confusing set of events secretly tied to the lives of every other person on Wisteria Lane. I have been very confused about this Dave Dash dude that married Edie and is all secretive and wants to get in tight with the other boys in garage bands and camping trips. Last week I finally realized that he was determined to ruin Mike by killing Katherine. I had no idea why yet though. So he got them all out in the woods and convinced Katherine to go hiking with Mike on a romantic hike. Then he sneaks out with his hunting rifle and aims straight for Katherine. Luckily he missed but now has to cover his tracks and they all leave immediately to get away from "illegal hunters." Meanwhile, Edie has discovered the truth about Dash through whatever braincells she could conjure up and convince to do research. She texts Dave and tells him she knows EVERYTHING and to get home now. So they all rush back from the woods. Edie learns that Dave all along has been trying to find a way to get revenge on Mike because when he and Susan got in that huge car accident Dave's wife and 3 year old daughter were killed. (A bit of irony since Mike and Susan's son, MJ and Dave and Lily Dash's daughter were born on the same day in the same hospital in rooms next to each other.) There was a trial and Mike was aquitted.(Doesn't Mike know who Dave is from the trial?)Well, Edie decided that she was going to call and warn Mike about Dave. Dave then strangled her. . . nearly to death. So she ran out to the car to drive and make the call. At that moment, Orson Hodge, was standing in the middle of the road with a ski mask on and all bloody from trying to steal from a neighbor who whomped him good with a bat. That's a whole other story, his newly found talent of piracy and cleptomania. But not quite as interesting yet. So back to Edie, she swerves to miss Orson and crashes into a tree and some powerlines causing the lines to come down. Not dead yet, Miss Edie slowly pulls he bedraggled body from the car and carefully keeps a grip on the door as the weakly steps out onto a small puddle of water and an electric line. Down she goes! Is she dead? Is she alive? We do not know. Her fingers were twitching- could be electrical impulses shivereing through her bones. But the preview shows all the wives coming out and talking to her, "you're gonna be okay." and all that jazz. I never really liked Miss Edie all that much, but I do like Mike, so I hope that she at least lives long enough to get the message to him. And I also like the Scavos a bit so it might be nice if this somehow lead to the dead doctor/fire incident that was blamed on the Scavo boy- Porter? I think. Well, this is the current DL on DH.
Toodaloo

What a day!

The good, the bad, and the ugly...
1. I am STILL sick! What's it been, like 2 months now? Now it's down in my chest and I can't stop coughing.

2. School stories.
"Dude" So, the boys can't stop calling everyone "dude" all the time. "Dude, what page are we on?" "Dude, can I use your red crayon?" "Dude, you wanna play soccer with me at lunch?" Even to the the girls. "Dude, will you let me see the book?" "Dude, do we have to do the problems on the back?" So I have been getting so tired of it and today I heard someone say it about three times in 10 seconds so I said, "He has a name and it's not 'DUDE'." He looked at me like "Huh?" and I repeated myself, "He has a name and it's NOT DUDE." He kind of chuckled then went back to what he was doing. A few minutes later I heard it again, but then a little girl said, "He has a name and it's not 'Dude." Then someone else said, "Yeah, teacher said "He has a name and it's not Dude." I laughed inside thinking, "Uh huh, THAT'S RIGHT. Glad someone listens around here!"

Candy bar thieves: I have a small, plastic, purple basket in which a wonderful assortment of candy bars are stored for birthdays (and my afternoon chocolate rescue, but shhhhh, we'll just say they're for birthdays). Today I had pulled it down and left it on my printer so that I would remember to let someone get their birthday bar. Well, as we were getting ready to go home, I was busy helping a couple of kids fix their math and also handing out homework folders. I was sittig at the table right next to the printer (just a few feet away literally) and a boy (a very naughty boy, always in trouble) decided to snitch 3 or 4 of them and pass them around to friends. After several minutes a little girl says, "Ummm (so and so) is stealing your candy bars. I looked over at the basket and could tell that they had been taken because it was completely full before. So I called him over and he proceeded to say that (boy b and boy c) had the bars and they said (boy a) took them and gave them to us. (Like we're completely innocent). So I asked, "did you know he took them from me?" Yes, they said they did, and I explained to them that means they are just as guilty. So they brought all the bars back, or so I thought. After school we were still trying to figure out the consequences and Boy A (the main suspect) proceeds to accuse girl A of eating a candy bar- a Kit Kat. Well this is wonderful girl who never finds trouble and she had already high tailed it out of there. However, she was "apprehended" and returned to the scene of the crime. She continued to deny to me that she had anything to do with it so I told her to go tell Boy A to his face that he was lying. At first she had no problem doing so and he continued to accuse her of it. I said, "Well someone is lying straight to the other's face. Can you continue to look straight in their eyes and tell them the lie?" Then he said, "Come on (girl A)!" So then she admitted that she had eaten "just a tiny bite" when she knew he stole it. So then I ask, "So who ate the rest?" He said, "I don't know!" I looked straight at him and said, "Did you?" He shamefully hung his head and said, "Yes..." Then they both started to cry pitifully. Boy B and C just watched and didn't seem affected at all. Kinda sad but funny at the same time.


3. When I came home, I found out that Erin is on bed rest for something that is wrong with her and the baby. I don't have very much information right now, but the dr. wants to make sure that it doesn't get worse so that Jude has a better chance to survive. If he can wait just 6 weeks survival will go up about 60%. So we are praying for their family.

Oi ve! What a day!

Christmas Cookies and Ugly Ornaments

Today Erin had a Christmas cookie and ugly ornament party. We all had a great time. Everyone brought a plate of cookies and the recipes to share. I made some rocky road bars and pineapple coconut snowballs. My rocky road bars won 2nd prize. . . woohoo. I felt so special.
But I was kind of bummed because I found this awfully ugly Santa decoration at the DI. I thought for sure that he would win the ugliest ornament award. Erin tried to DQ me from the contest because he wasn't a "tree ornament." Well, no one said it had to be a "tree ornament." An ornament can be defined as anything used to add flare or decoration, so this Santa could fit that definition. Well, in my humble opinion, he was the ugliest because his fluff was falling off all over and he had this strange pocket thing instead of an arm, which I think is supposed to hold something . . . maybe candy canes or something like that????? Who really knows? Well, I was the only one who voted for the ugly thing.



My mom's thing wasn't even ugly. I wouldn't have put it out to decorate, but it's not ugly... Well, the winner was something that my aunt Becky made this morning, but I couldn't get a picture of it because my camera's battery was dead and wouldn't revive. She won an ugly ornament ugly pen... Hahaha, what fun! I was gonna go to the Dicken's Festival, but I was so tired tonight that I decided not to. Maybe next year. That's what I have told myself for the last several years. Whyyy????? I love Charles Dickens.... Why have I never gone??????????? I suck.

Whodunnit?

Okay, so I have seen and heard of many people over the years who have had really fun Clue dinner parties where you try to solve who killed the mystery guest. I want to do one, but I don't really know how it works. For example, is the mystery guest just made up? and how do you solve it- is it a scavenger hunt? Does everyone have a clue in their invitation? Are the clues scattered throughout the house- and are they written or do you have to search for the evidence (like an open window or a broken glass or a hair in the bathtub even)? Hmmmm. I think it would be soooo much fun to dress up like Professor Plum or Miss Scarlet or Colonel Mustard and have dinner and solve a good mystery. So CSI or Cold Case to me. I love it. Tell me what you think about it. I want to plan one for sure.

Annie aka "Maestra Magenta" hahaha

I need some chapstick

Napoleon Dynamite: Hey can I use your guys's phone for a sec?
Secretary No. 1: Is there anything wrong?
Napoleon Dynamite: I don't feel very good.
[takes telephone and dials number]
Kip: [making nachos on the other side of the line] Hi.
Napoleon Dynamite: Is grandma there?
Kip: No, she's getting her hair done.
Napoleon Dynamite: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Kip: What do you need?
Napoleon Dynamite: Can you just go get her for me?
Kip: I'm really busy right now.
Napoleon Dynamite: Just tell her to come get me.
Kip: Why?
Napoleon Dynamite: Cause I don't feel good!
Kip: Well, have you talked to the school nurse?
Napoleon Dynamite: No, she doesn't know anything. Will you just come get me?
Kip: No.
Napoleon Dynamite: Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my chapstick?
Kip: No, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: But my lips hurt real bad!
Kip: Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has like five sticks in her drawer.
Napoleon Dynamite: I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko!
Kip: See ya.
[Kip hangs up]
Napoleon Dynamite: Uh! Idiot!


Uhhhh . . . I pretty much feel like Napoleon right now . . . cause my lips are really hurting bad.

Law and Order SVU

what the? Elliot can't die! Oh good, it's just another close call... the man has survived it all. Just like when he was blind one minute then fine the next, tonight he gets shot twice in the chest, lays dying on the side of the street, gets rushed to the hospital, and next thing you know . . . he's chasing bad guys through warehouses and up and down stairs with blood seeping through his shirt! I know, it's not exactly realistic, but it's got me! If he ever does really get killed, I don't know what I'll do (same with Liv).

Pottymouth

So, for those of you who don't know, let me introduce you to Logan... the son of a friend of mine. Logan will be 4 in January and he is too smart for his own good. Really... I think he is smarter than most of my students. Well, tonight I went over and we had pizza and watched a movie and I was "making Logan movies" with my phone. It only records for 30 seconds at a time and he wanted me to make movies of him all night long, so I got 36 videos of him. The funniest were of me interrogating him for his recent introduction to getting his mouth washed out with soap. The conversation went like this:
Video 1
Annie: Tell me about when you got your mouth washed out with soap.
Logan: I . . . I got my my mouth washed out with soap because I said dammit.
Annie: Ohhhhhh . . . and that's a potty word.
Logan: Yeah . . . that's really not a yucky word.
Annie: It is a yucky word.
Logan: Yeah.
Annie: It's not a nice word.
Logan: Yeah.
Annie: It's not a funny word.
Logan: Yeah.
Annie: Why did you say that word?
Logan: Because I didn't want to . . .
Annie: Were you mad?
Logan: Yeah . . . I was mad.
Video 2
Annie: Ahhhh . . . you say bad words!
Logan: . . . So many times!
Annie:Why? Why do you say bad words?
Logan:Because I didn't want to. . . My mommy stopped . . . try-ded to stop me . . . she got mad and try-ded to stop me.
Annie: Why do you say the bad words? Do you get angry?
Logan:Yeah . . . I get angry.

Video 3: Interrogation about the spank
Annie: . . . and when did you get a spankin'?
Logan: . . .
Annie: Why did you get a spanking?
Logan: . . . cuz
Annie: Why?
Logan: Ahhhhhh!
Annie: What? Why did Mommy spank you?
Logan: Behind my back.
Annie: Why?
Logan: My knees, my butt.
Annie: Why?
Logan: . . . cuzzzzz.
Annie: What did you do????
Logan: grabs his cup and drinks his soda. . . (this is obviously a sore topic- no pun intended. He was not too willing to share the details of his crime.)

I love this boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Freaking Fun

I had so much fun tonight! Shalynn, my karate instructor's wife, and I decided to get together at Pebbles and scrapbook. I have not done any scrapbooking for several years, but I have so many good pictures from this summer to do. It was so cool. I have been in their "Creating Room" before, but I have not sat down and used it to do any work. She and I were there for several hours until they closed and I loved it. It is so much better than working at home because you can go get the paper and other junk that you need right there!!! Plus, all their punches, paper cutters, special scissors, and other tools are there for you to use.
Then we went to Jimmy John's. She has never had a sandwich from JJ, but I was telling her the other day how much I love them, even more than Subway, and she loves Subway. So she wanted to try it. She loved it.
Finally, we hit Deseret Book. What fun! We were there for more than an hour and a half just looking at EVERYTHING and saying, "Look Shalynn, this is so cute!" "Oh, Anne, I want this!"
"Oh my gosh, this is so amazing!!!" I bought two prints by Simon Dewey that we both were loving. They are of Christ with a little boy and the other with Christ with a little girl. Both paintings have Christ holding a lamp and the flame lights their faces. They are called, "Ye are the light of the World" and "Let Your Light So Shine." I have been wanting to get them both for a while because I want to hang the pair together in my room. We were looking at candles, quilts, Halloween and Christmas decorations, picture books, Willow Tree figurines, music. . . I don't think there was anything in the store we didn't touch!!!! The coolest part was that all she bought was a small bag of chocolate covered pretzels and she used her bonus points so she got them for free and even had a dollar's worth of bonus points left... haha. She was like, "My husband probably thinks I'm dead." We were gone for quite a while. It was also funny because at one time I was standing by the pictures or candles or something and she was in another area. There were some shelves between us and she was trying to say something to me. I was like, "huh?" "What did you say?" So I went to go find her. She left and was going to find me. Then she was like, "where'd you go?" "I'm trying to find you... where'd you go? "Don't move! Stay where you are!" we were laughing hysterically and we were nearly the only people in there. The cashier was laughing and commented about how funny we were together because we were trying to figure out how long we had been there and I said, "Well, we left Pebbles at about ten to 7 and now it is about 9... well, precisely 8:52ish" (like in Toy Story 2) and we both started laughing, so the cashier thought that was pretty funny too.
Well anyways, I don't know if that all made much sense, but the main idea is that I had a bunch of fun n' stuff. I haven't had anyone to just hang out with like that for a long time. All my friends have gotten married, moved, or whatever, so it was great to have someone to spend some girl time with.

The Frog Prince?

Setting him free!

















Trying to catch the little bugger can be tricky!




















































So I have had a frog living near my classroom. He is really little and pretty cute. Last week sometime, the kids had put him in a bucket on the ramp that had accumulated a pool of water. I have not seen him since then until this morning when he hopped in the classroom as I opened the door. It freaked me out and I called in some tough boys to do the job for me. Enjoy the pics. Should I have kept him and tried to kiss him????

A funny memory: A boy and his lizard

Okay, so Kelly mentioned something tonight that I totally forgot about and I need to write it down so that I don't forget it again.
Last year, I had a little boy named Erasmo in my class, but we called him Lamito. He was so funny and way smart, and even had a slightly naughty streak (but always loaded with humor!) So one Friday as I came in the morning, there was a group of kids hanging out on the ramp (Lamito was one of them) in front of the classroom and I wondered what was going on, but didn't think to ask. Then when Lamito came in, he came in and asked if we could have Show and Tell. I said, I don't think so because I don't like Show and Tell. Well, he didn't say anything else, but for some reason 2 or 3 other kids asked me if we could have Show and Tell that day. Well, this started to get me wondering slightly what was going on, but again, I didn't question it too much.
So finally, after lunch I believe, when we were switching to new seats and cleaning tables, Lamito told me he really had something that he wanted to show me and a couple of other kids were with him. Their faces were so excited that I could tell it was something big. Well, Lamito reached into the front pocket of his hoodie and pulled out a lizard.
Okay, so I asked how long he had been hiding the lizard in his pocket like a prisoner and he said since the morning. I told him he had to take it outside and let it go. He asked why and I said because he was just a little lizard and probably didn't want to be kept in a sweater pocket and plus, what if he got out??? "I have been very careful. I have been holding him in my hand in my pocket all day so he doesn't get out." Well he begged if he could keep him and I told him he could show his friends the lizard, but then please let him go free, then I went back to what I was doing. A minute or two later, everyone was hovered around Lamito and he was down on his knees. They were all saying, "Lamito's crying, he's sad."
"Lamito, come here." I said. "Why are you crying?"
"I don't want to let my lizard free. He's the best lizard I've ever had. I've never had a lizard like him before." Through sobs...
"Let me see your lizard." I actually don't think I had looked at his lizard yet. So we sat down at the table and he pulled the poor lizard out of his pocket and held it in his hand.
"Put him on the table so I can see him," I said.
"He likes dark places, he will hide under the books." Sure enough, the little lizard ran under the stack of books. So we talked and I asked if he knew what the lizard would eat."
"Crickets."
"Do you have some crickets for him?"
"Yes."
"And where will he live, in a jar?"
"No, I have a tank for him."
"Okay," I said, since the day was almost over. So he started to feel better and we talked about some other things, then I told him he could go finish moving to his new desk and cleaning up. He asked...
"Can I take my lizard back too?"
Can you believe it? I had forgotten the stupid lizard was under the books. "Yes," I replied.
No the story doesn't quite end here.
We took a bathroom break a few minutes later. I have a coconut half shell that I use as a hall pass and he wanted to carry the lizard in that shell so that the kids could see it. So I allowed it.
As we were walking to the restrooms they were all certain that the lizard was licking it's eyeballs like a gecko. I looked at it and said, "I don't see him licking his eyeballs. It looks to me like he is squinting from the sunlight..."
I know, I am so mean, but I was a bit wasted of energy. It was a Friday and the whole situation had been very dramatic and draining.
It makes me laugh hysterically though now. Especially thinking about him saying, "He's the best lizard I've had. I've never had a lizard like him before."

Daily Journals

Yesterday morning I gave the children no writing prompt for their journals. It was a free write or go back (go back to an old entry and add) day. There were some really good entries and I gave anyone who wanted to share theirs time to stand up and read in front of the class. Joel (pronounced Ho-el because he is Hispanic) wanted to share his. He can't hardly read or write. I had no clue what it said, but he sure did. He stood up bold and strong and read his few sentences. "I have 8 people in my family. There are 5 boys and 2 girls. I love my family. We have fun. But my mom and dad like to say that they got me and my brother in the dumpster because we are not the same color." We all laughed and I said, "That's a joke, huh Joel. They didn't really get you in the dumpster." He laughed back and said, "Yes, just because we look different." It was quite funny. They weren't adopted or anything, it's just some of the kids are darker than the others. Joel and his brother are dark and some of their siblings are very light. It is kinda weird. I wonder if that is like having the milk man as your father.

Greek Olive Crowns

Yesterday and today I had the kids draw themselves on a Wheaties box as we have been discussing the Olympics. I took a photo of each child with an olive crown on like the ancient Greeks. Today one of the kids said as I was placing the crown on his head, "But I don't want to look like Adam and Eve." I laughed and said, "Of course not, you look like a Greek Olympian!" They turned out so cute.