I am still alive

Well a lot of things have been happening inmylife, over the past year and a half or so, since I last blogged, but I just have not had time to keep up in the blog world. I spend my time on Facebook, so people keep up with me there, but I feel like I want to keep more of a journal again in the form of a blog. So here I am back on INMYLIFE. So, I guess that is all I have to say. Put me back on your "Reading List" and enjoy reading the adventures of my life as a teacher, a friend, a sister, a daughter, and the best auntie in the world.

BID #3

Something I have always wanted to learn how to do inmylife is learn how to play all kinds of musical instruments. Unfortunately, I quit piano as a kid. Maybe someday I will find the motivation to try again. I can still plink out the songs in my Christmas song book I have had since I was ten, as well as many songs in middle c. Beyond that, I am lost! I also had a short stint in the school band in 6th grade in the brass section...French horn. The most useful thing I learned was how to empty the spit valve. But one of the two instruments I have always wanted to learn is the violin (the other is the trumpet, ironically similar to the despis-ed French horn). Someday, I will do that! It is officially submitted to the BID list.

Maintaining a black belt perspective

It is often said, in the martial arts world, that a black belt is nothing more than a white belt who never gave up. This is the black belt way of thinking. Persistence. Confidence. Meditation. Visualization. Focus. Effort. Sweat. Intensity. Creativity. Power.
These are the traits that I continue to work on inmylife outside of the dojo. Even though I am not currently a formal martial arts student, I am a martial artist. I have a black belt, and I hope to, when the time is right, continue on my path of black belt excellence, however far it will take me. When I tell people I meet that I am a black belt, I want them to look at me and say, "Of course you are! I knew there was something amazing about you!" not "You are? I never knew that?!?!"
You do not need to be a martial artist to have this kind of strength. You just need to find a way to develop it through positive thinking and meditation. We can accomplish anything we want to, whether it is breaking a stack of boards with our bare hands or conquering Mount Everest or just being happy with who we are and where we are at, as long as we tell ourselves we have that kind of power. You don't need a black belt around your waist to think like a black belt.

Not New Year's Resolutions

I don't believe in setting New Year's Resolutions because I think resolutions and goals should be something that are a continual focus, rather than simply in January (and forgotten by February). I do, however, believe in setting and achieving goals all throughout the year, big and small. I have several goals that I am working on right now, and two that are really big! I mean, really big, but I know that they are achievable! You know me though, DREAM BIG or don't dream at all!
1. PARTICIPATE IN THE UTAH SUMMER GAMES in Cedar City. I have been considering this since a few students in my karate school were talking about it last year, although only one of them actually did. I would really like to do this to gain some valuable experience.
2. EARN MY BLACK BELT. Since I was a kid, I have dreamed of doing karate and now I have done it. I am so proud of myself for finally doing it. Now after several years, I can actually see, smell, and taste the black belt (well, not really, but you know what I mean). This was never part of the dream and I am so excited that I have made it this far!

Wellness Challenge

Every year the school district participates in a wellness challenge sponsored by the health insurance company. I participated last year and enjoyed it. This year I am doing it again. I think I will push myself harder this year to set more goals rather than just try to win by racking up the most minutes. I feel so bad lately because I had lost about 70 pounds a few years ago and then, since last Christmas, I have gained about 25-30 of those pounds back. I would like to get back down to where I was by the end of the competition in March. Then I would still like to lose about 30 more to get to my ultimate goal, but right now, just getting back down to that point would be great!

Ban Bu

As many of you know, karate has become an important part of my life. I have been training since January 2008. Right now I am a brown belt, one of four girls who are the highest rank at my school. It's kind of exciting but stressful. We have been training for our Ban Bu test. Ban Bu is a brown belt with a black stripe in the center. It is the first of the high level belts and the testing process becomes quite a bit harder. We are required to do a physical test which includes running 2 miles in 20 minutes and then completing the rest in another 10 minutes (100 sit ups, 50 pushups: 10 each of uppercut, vertical knuckle, horizontal knuckle, fingertip, and triangle, and 5 pull ups or holding above the bar for 30 seconds). Then, we have to complete the curriculum testing that takes several more hours and includes all kata (forms), self defense, and sparring. There is also a written test and a written thesis that we complete. This is the same test that you have to pass for all belts above Ban Bu (Han Ban Bu, Chan Ban Bu, Black, Black Belt higher degrees), but some of the requirements on the written tests change and more curriculum is learned and tested, of course.
I am having a horrible time with the physical part of the test. At this point, I have not been able to run the 2 miles in 20 minutes or do the pull ups so on the practice tests, I have only gotten 15/40 points on that portion of the test. This is very stressful for me and I am trying to remain positive and know that I can complete it just like everyone else who has done it.
The "real" test is coming up a week from Saturday. I will have a horrible birthday if I don't pass it, so everyone, just pray for me, please!

Inspired

I have been thinking about one of my life long friends, Ginger, who passed away almost a year ago. A few weeks ago, her family and friends all joined together in her memory and ran in the "Great Race," a race that she had done just two months before she passed away. As she was getting ready to participate, she had written on her blog "tomorrow's the big day! at 7:30am I'm running in the Agoura Great Race 5k, my very first race ever! I'm so NOT a runner and I've only been "training" ... for about 3 weeks. yikes! what am I thinking?? I'm thinking that it will be fun and great exercise, right? ... Jason is also running the 5k, but I told him I don't want to run "with" him. I don't want to run beside anyone I know. I don't want to feel like I'm holding anyone back or (and I doubt this will be a problem) I don't want to BE held back by anyone. I want to feel free run at my own pace, that's all. I'm sure it would be special to cross the finish line as a couple and all, but oh well! I wanted to have a goal for the 5k, so here's mine: I want to finish in 30 minutes or less. I'm not even sure that's realistic, but that's an average of 10 minutes per mile. surely I can do that, right? thinking positive thoughts...... wish me luck and I'll post my time tomorrow."
And then .... "29:59:55 yes!! under 30 minutes! I knew I could do it! :) "

After she passed away, one of her brothers had made a touching comment on her blog that shows an amazing amount of faith and is full of hope and determination. He wrote,
"Ginge, you ran a great race and you finished at 30 (at least this leg of the race). You didn't let anyone hold you back, but you definitely helped countless others along your way. You broke the tape first in our family and we look forward to seeing you when we cross the line and giving you a huge Ginger-style victory hug on the other side of the finish line. Until then, we know you will be watching us, cheering us on."

I want to be able to leave that kind of imprint on the hearts of those around me. I want to inspire them to be better, to reach higher, to push a little longer. But first . . . I have to become that person. I am on my way. That's MY goal!

Black Belt/Leadership Essay (Kwon Shu/Kenpo)

So, I had to write a short essay for karate as an assignment for acceptance into the leadership team. This is what I came up with:

"Over the past 14 months, karate has become a very important part of my life. As a child, I had a great desire to get involved in karate, yet I don’t really know where this dream came from. None of my friends or anyone in my family was interested or involved in martial arts at all. It just started to grow in me one day until it became all consuming. Maybe it was from the first time that I saw the movie, The Karate Kid. Something about that movie just spoke to me, but the possibility of ever achieving that dream was almost instantly pushed aside when I realized the futility of asking for something like that. I remember asking to participate in soccer, and laying in bed thinking about what I would say and how I could present it to my mother, and when I did I knew I would have to have a way to come up with the money. That was no where near as expensive as karate would be all year, and so I never asked. I knew she would respond with frustrated words similar to, “You know we don’t have the money for that. Why don’t you call your dad and ask him if he can pay for something like that!” I knew full well that would never happen, especially since I had already asked him to help me buy my $15 PE uniform, which he refused, and so, that was it, the hope of ever fulfilling that dream was gone. I dropped it completely, knowing it was hopeless to continue to even think about it at all. But dreams never do really die. They always seem to find a way to pop back up from time to time, always tormenting you until you take the time to pursue them, which is what I finally decided to do. I was talking to my mom on the phone one evening and told her how much I wanted to do this and reminded her of how I had wanted to do this since I was about 8 or 9 years old. She had completely forgotten it and was surprised. I started to cry terribly and told her I felt like I would never be able to do this and that I was so frustrated that I let myself just sweep so many hopes and dreams aside or ignore them all these years just because I was so worried about everyone else. I didn’t know why it was so important to me, but the emotions became so strong, and the years of frustration finally just started to pour out.
I am grateful beyond measure that I finally listened to my heart and took the initiative to do this! I have learned so many things through karate, not just about self defense, but about myself; who I am, what I hope to achieve and be, and what I can be. From the time when this dream was born at 8 years old until I finally acted upon it last year, I never really thought, “I want to be a black belt.” I don’t know why I wanted to do karate or what I hoped to get out of it, I just wanted it and I knew I needed it. Something about it just called to me even though I didn’t know what it had to offer. But, since I started, I have learned to set higher goals and to believe that they really can be achieved. I have always been a determined person and once I start something, I usually see it through to the end. Yet, since starting karate, I have become even more focused on what I can become. Earning a black belt isn’t about status or rank and it isn’t the end of the road either. As I see it, earning my black belt is just the beginning. Maybe I will continue on and earn higher degrees, but even if I don’t, it is about the fact that I listened to myself and responded. This tells me that I can continue to listen and respond for the rest of my life, no matter what the situation might be.
For me, it isn’t about why I would be a great black belt. Instead, it is about why a black belt would be great for me. Until last year, I would never have seen myself where I am today and where a black belt can take me. Knowledge, wisdom, strength, confidence, faith, determination, physical health, and spiritual and emotional awareness are just a few of the things that I have seen grow and I know will continue to grow on the road to earning my black belt. These are things that I could develop through very few other pursuits. I don’t know that I have anything more to offer than anyone else, which would make me a better candidate for a black belt, but I know that what it has to offer me is something I can not deny or refuse."

 

Cartwheels

I REALLY want to figure out how to do a cartwheel. I could do them when I was little of course, but now I am too scared. I see everyone in my karate class do them no problem and I feel really lame. I have been working on it for several days but I can't kick my legs up high enough to get them over my head. Uggh. Anyone have some advice?

Suck up your pride and just do it

I am going to be getting my blue belt in karate next Wednesday night. I am pretty excited. We have to do a new goal setting plan as part of the promotional process. The kids have to get their teachers and parents to sign their promotion packet but I just have to answer the questions and set the 5 goals. Man, it was hard to write out those goals . . . not because I couldn't think of any, but because most of the things I am working on or need to work on are personal and I knew that my instructor would be reading them. I felt really vulnerable writing them down on paper where he would be able to read them. Things about anger and anxiety, focus and concentration, adhd, spirituality. . . it took me about 2 hours to finally get them down on paper in the words that I wanted. When I gave him the paper, he opened it up, and I had to ask him to read it later when I wasn't around. I felt so lame. But anyways, the goals are good and I hope it all works out well.

Olympics glory and upsets

I love the Olympics! Tonight I was watching some swimming events and they were amazing. I felt so bad for Katie Hoff. She was set to win the gold, a full body length ahead of the next swimmer with less than one lap to go and somehow, the British girl caught up and touched the wall just before her and in less than an instant (.07 of a second) she went from gold to silver. Don't get me wrong, that is still amazing, but I could tell by the look on her face that she was devastated.
The next race was the men's relay and Michael Phelps was the first leg of the race. The French team had been quoted bragging, "We will smash the Americans. That's what we came here to do." So they were ahead for most of the race, but on the last leg, our guy (crap I can't remember his name) pulled ahead with amazing power and beat the French by .08 of a second. Everyone was in a tizzy. Michael Phelps couldn't believe what he had seen and he was screaming from the bottom of his belly. You could see the muscles straining from his belly button all the way to his neck and the veins in his neck and forehead looked like they would burst! I was so excited. We saw the medal ceremony and he was smiling the whole time they played the national anthem. 2 more gold medals and he will be the greatest Olympic athlete of all time! You can do it Michael!
Hey, let's not forget the Redeem Team smashing China last night in basketball. That was pretty awesome too. Unfortunately, I did not see that-only some highlights of the game.
What's up with no baseball or softball anymore? Who decided that Mr. IOC Chairman?
Go USA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!