My favorite picture

E.Watts 2011

This is my new favorite picture of me and my sweet little niece. She was talking to me, which is something she is just learning how to do. She sticks out her tongue as she tries to pull the babbles and coos from deep in her tummy. It is so sweet to feel the words work their way almost from her toes up to her little lips. I don't think I have felt anything so amazing inmylife, as the genuine love I have for these babes and they have for me.

Dress up

Last night, my sister wanted to play dress up with little Lolo and take some pictures with my camera. After we got Bubs to bed we had fun dressing her up in a tutu and pearls, but she was not completely cooperative and it was a bit difficult to get some good pix at first. These are some of the fun ones that we got. Erin took most of them, but I love them! So they are going on here!!! P.S. My new goal is to post to this blog once a week and update you on what is happening inmylife. I am focusing mostly on my daily blog which you can check out by clicking here if you haven't yet.

E. Watts 2011Haha, with her little cap on, she looks like a Puritan baby!
Erin and I happen to have the same quilt. We must be sisters.

E.Watts 2011Grandma's pearls look so beautiful on her!

E. Watts 2011And look at that tutu!

A.Rogers 2011All snuggly in her swing.

A.Rogers 2011Nakie girl... :)


E.Watts 2011Grandma lovin' up the babe!

E.Watts 2011

Happy Fall

Today Erin asked me if I could take some pictures of Bub (the rest are on Facebook) so that she could enter him into the Gap Casting Call competition. We drove out to Staheli Farms in Washington, but they weren't open and we had no idea if they would even be open. Note to Stahelis- a sign out front with your hours of operation, or answering your phone, would be helpful. So we drove out to Hurricane, LaVerkin, and Toquerville, hoping that somewhere out in the sticks there would be a farm of some sort where we could get some good pictures. Finally, I called Staheli's again and someone answered. Their hours? 3-6:00. So we drove back. By this time, Bub was not a happy boy, tired and cranky, so it was difficult to get him to cooperate, but we did get some really cute pics. Hard not to with a cute boy like him. I am so grateful to have this little punkin inmylife!!!!

Auntie Annie loves you Bubs!

Blessings in disguise?

I have been thinking about my dad a lot lately. Unfortunately, there is a big gap between the dad that he is and the father that I wish he could have been inmylife. There is so much that a girl needs her father to teach her and because he never did, I feel like there is so much that I don't know. I think the most important of these is how to trust and be a daughter. I feel like my relationship with God and the Lord could be so much deeper and stronger and more meaningful if I understood how to trust in them and lean on them. I have had to put so much effort into developing that trust that I feel like I have missed out on learning so many other things in the meantime.
I have been spending a lot of time and effort and faith on forgiving my dad for the things he did and those he didn't do, as well, and on remembering the things he did that made me feel good and loved. I want to get to the point where I accept the fact that he was the person that I needed to be my dad in order to become the perfect daughter that I want to be, and where I love him despite the painful things he did, he said, and the things he didn't do or didn't say. I know I am like him in a lot of ways, some good and some not so good, and I know that there are a lot of things that I can learn from him, whether he taught me by example or by non example. I guess some blessings are strange like that, they can be disguised as the painful thorns that keep the enemies away rather than the beauty of the flower, so easily recognized.

Friends

"And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul."
- 1 Samuel 18:1
"And now Zoram, I speak unto you... I know that thou art a true friend unto my son, Nephi, forever." -2 Nephi 1:30
"Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands."
- D&C 121:9



I consider myself lucky to have been blessed with amazing friends. I have never been the person that had loads of friends; always hanging out at parties or social events, but I have almost always had at least one or two really good friends inmylife who have helped me cope through the hard times and helped me to be a better person. In fact, just the other day I heard a quote, I think it was in the movie "Forever Strong", that a true friend is the person who makes you want to be a better person and, inmylife, I have found this to be true to the utmost extent. Those true friends, the real friends, always stood by my side when I wanted to be better, stronger, truer, and to "stand a little taller," while some of those who I thought were friends left when I didn't want to do what they had to offer. This is still true today. I thank God every day for my true friends, even those who I don't talk to every day anymore. Even those who are not here anymore. Even those who may have gone a different direction due to hurt feelings, challenges, or other unfortunate situations, and in these painful losses, I pray that forgiveness and healing will someday come, and we will be able to be friends once again. I still consider you my friend because you have made me want to be better than I am. I hope you feel the same way. To all my friends; those who stand by me today, those who once held my hand, those who are no longer walking this earth, and those who I hope to someday call a friend again, I love you and I thank you for all you have taught me about who I am and who I want to be. I especially thank those friends who have led me to seek for the friendship of the only person who can truly understand everything I have been through and the mistakes I have made and, yet, still love me and be my Friend when no one else knows how to or has the strength or courage to be.

9/11 Never Forget

When we went to California last week for the funeral of a friend (Paula Giles), we spent Monday in Malibu. Pepperdine University students had placed nearly 3,000 flags on their lawn at the corner of Malibu Canyon Drive and Pacific Coast Highway, overlooking the ocean in remembrance of the victims of 9/11. This display was left up from Sept 11-19. I wish everyone could have seen it! What a beautiful way to remember those heroes. Many people were stopping and photographing the memorial. I decided to share a few of my favorites. (I have more on Facebook, if you want to have a look.) Never forget! If you want to see the whole story click on this link.
http://www.pepperdine.edu/pr/releases/2010/september/9-11-flag-display-2010.htm

BID #1 Dolphin Surfing

Something that I noticed my sister Erin doing on her blog was posting B.I.D ("Before I Die") items. She chose this acronym because she does not like the term
"Bucket List" and when I read that I realized that I, too, do not like it either. Don't ask me why. I am not sure. Well, here is item #1 on my BID list. Ride with the dolphins! I don't know how long it has been that I have wanted to do this but as long as I can remember. One time, a friend came back from Mexico with pictures of her family riding with dolphins in Cancun, I think. I actually started to cry looking at the pictures. I don't know what it is about this creature, but it has stolen my heart...and if I could do this in Mexico, that would be even better. Who needs a black Escalade when you could have this sweet ride?

Life's BIG and and not so big adversities

I don't know if this post is really going to have a main idea or whatever, but I just thought I would get on and get some things out of my head. I don't even know if anyone reads my blog anymore since I have become less than active about writing. Things have been getting better in some ways but then again I start to think maybe not. I still feel really lonely a lot living by myself on the opposite side of town as my family. But I have started to realize a lot of things about myself that I never would have realized had it not been for the many firey experiences of the last six months.
In the past month, there have been two long time family friends that have passed away from back home. One unexpected and one after a brave battle with cancer. Both were young still, at least in my book. I know that we do not know when our life here will end and this has made me more aware of my mortality. This morning on the radio, I heard a country song that I think I have heard before, but never really listened to. I don't particularly like the song, but the words hit me suddenly considering the friends I have lost in the past few years, especially Ginger.


If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song


Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She'll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

And I’ll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I’m as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I’ve never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
There’s a boy here in town says he’ll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no I’ll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I’m a gone
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin’

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song


The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep ‘em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need 'em oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls

Switching subjects...I was really sick yesterday. I mean REALLY sick. Maybe I am overreacting because I am not used to being sick because I can not remember the last time I had the flu. I think it was probably 5 or 6 years ago when I got sick with the flu on Thanksgiving Day. That's right, of all the days of the year to get the flu and not be able to eat, I got it on Thanksgiving Day. But even then I was not as sick as yesterday, I don't think. My BIL and nephew have had the flu last week and earlier this week and I hadn't seen Jude for a while so I spent some time with him on Wed. night and he ended up being sick. So Thursday night I went to bed quite early, not really feeling ill, just tired and a slight headache. At 11:00 I woke up feeling like I needed to puke and, sure enough, I did. I spent the rest of the night up about every 1.5- 2 hours throwing up. By 7:00 I had been sick 5 times which, like I said, I can not remember ever being that sick. I called in for a sub, which was the 3rd day this week because of the funeral in California on Tuesday, and literally dragged myself to the school after puking for the 5th time to write some sort of sub plan for the day. Luckily, Fridays are easy. I slept for most of the day, but felt nauseous all day long and had nothing at my house to ease the aches, pains, or nausea of the flu and couldn't get a hold of anyone to bring anything to me. I really thought I might end up in the ER dehydrated (and who knows what else?) if I didn't stop throwing up. At about 3:00 I decided to take a hot bath to relax a little and that lasted til 4:30 and then another nap. I was hoping my mom could bring me some Zofran (anti nausea?) that my sister had from when Jude was sick, but with Erin being sick herself, she was not answering the phone and I ended up falling asleep again. At about 7:00 I woke up again and told mom not to worry about it and I dragged myself into the car and up to the Albertson's that is a mile away. I hadn't thrown up in 12 hours so I thought I would be ok. I needed to find something that I might be able to eat and something to help with the nausea. When I got there I realized I didn't have my debit card or my DL so I had to write a check and hope that they didn't ask for my DL which happens a lot at Albertson's. Halfway through my shopping I started to feel really sick again and thought I was going to lose it. I was praying the whole time that I wouldn't and that they wouldn't ask me for my DL because I needed this food and medicine and had no idea where they were (they ended up being in my desk at school). I felt like Ramona in the book "Ramona Quimby, Age 8," which I just finished reading to my class last week. "Please God, don't let me throw up in this taxi cab. Please God, don't let me throw up in this taxi cab." Well, needless to say, I made it home and thanks to some Sprite, Emetrol, Tylenol PM, bananas, and a few saltines I made it through the night without throwing up again and without going to the ER. I went to bed and prayed that I would make it through the night without having to throw up, but kept my pot there just in case. :) Well, thankfully, I slept great and woke up this morning having survived. I feel much better today, but I sure hope I don't have to suffer through that again for many, many years...or ever- I hope.

thanks grandma

One more thing grandma taught me...without speaking. Grandma had a quote on her fridge for the longest time. ( I wonder if its still there...I guess I will check next time I go over). But it always stuck with me and I share it with my students EVERY year because I think it is one of life's most important lessons.
"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel." Let's always remember that we are all children of God and treat each other as such.

happy birthday, Grandma Irene

Grandma just celebrated her birthday this week and since she is such an amazing woman, I thought I would share 82 amazing things about her. Happy birthday, Grandma! I am so grateful to have had you as the rock you have been inmylife!



1. She brought the Gospel to our family by accepting it and being baptized.
2. She can do everything with one hand that it takes me two hands to do.
3. She has taught me how to sew.
4. She has a brave, strong heart.
5. I can see a lot of myself in her.
6. She helped provide the things we needed growing up, like school clothes and cars.
7. She is a stylin' grandma.
8. She has always had tons of energy.
9. Her house and clothes smell so wonderful.
10. She is neat and organized.
11. She is smart and values education. Even though she didn't finish school as a child she went back as an adult and got her GED and other vocational training.
12. She has worked hard all her life to be self sufficient.
13. She is very talented at sewing and made us dresses when we were children. She made most of my mom's clothes.
14. She loves family history and served as a missionary in the FHC.
15. She is forgiving.
16. She is generous.
17. She took us in when we needed a safe place to live.
18. She has a "beauty mark " on her lip.
19. She fought cancer bravely and won.
20. She has a wonderful sense of humor.
21. She is a proud American and is concerned and informed in politics.
22. She has an eye for beautiful antiques.
23. She always has the most amazing quilts.
24. She still has dolls.
25. She got me my first Cabbage Patch Kid and I still have it.
26. She has a quiet, but strong, testimony of the Lord and His church.
27. She decorates her home beautifully.
28. She let us sleep in her bed with her even though we kicked and stole the covers.
29. She had sleepovers with us and we would watch "Golden Girls" and "Johnny Carson" with her.
30. She loves dogs, especially pugs.
31. She always wrote me on my mission faithfully.
32. She has a caring heart and took special care of Deeda and Fowie in their final years.
33. She draws cute Smiley faces.
34. She has lots of neat things that she enjoys telling the history of.
35. She is interested in me.
36. She is proud of me and my siblings for even small accomplishments.
37. She is stubborn about the things she believes in.
38. She doesn't give up.
39. She has great stories of growing up in Arkansas.
40. She still tries to learn new things.
41. She is a great friend.
42. She has a great vocabulary- "whoopie!" "For Pithie's sake" and "dear Gussy"
43. She still looks great in jeans.
44. She has traveled many places.
45. She put up with us to drive us to Arkansas when I was ten to see her family.
46. She has overcome great challenges in life.
47. She cooks great Southern Comfort foods: fried chicken, fried potatoes, fried okra.
48. She raised my mom and taught her to be a loving mother.
49. She is a good listener.
50. She patiently taught me how to drive.
51. She colored with me when I was little.
52. She taught Erin and me how to make paper dolls.
53. She took me to Disneyland by myself when I was 8.
54. She is a shopping pro. She wore me out as a child.
55. She knows how to find the best bargains at the best stores.
56. She has always been involved in our lives.
57. She is protective.
58. She has spent many hours helping my brother and his wife with paperwork and dealing with government agencies.
59. She always looks great.
60. She took me places and picked me up when Mom was at work.
61. She is always willing to help or listen, no matter the hour.
62. She chose an amazing husband who took my mother as his daughter and loved his grandkids fiercely.
63. She chose another amazing husband who accepts us as his family and blesses us with his Priesthood and is always willing to help in any way he can.
64. She let me live with her while I went to college.
65. She looks at least 20 years younger than she is.
66. She knows exactly the right gifts to buy.
67. She loves kids...not a grumpy old lady.
68. She knows and remembers my friends.
69. She makes the best spaghetti.
70. She hurts when you hurt.
71. She is always thinking of someone else.
72. She would watch Jazz games with me.
73. She likes football.
74. She has a wonderful laugh.
75. She likes to play and have fun.
76. She's classy. :)
77. She worries about me.
78. She always brings back special presents when she goes on a trip.
79. She has lived a life of faith.
80. She is a good example to me.
81. She still colors her hair red.
82. She is beautiful and wise.

Another quick, but deep, thought

In everything that has been going on since April, I have come to realize that I was pretty dang smart when I was 6 years old and realized that "Life's not fair!" This has been something that I grew up knowing but not accepting. Why is life not fair?!?!
I realized it recently.
Life isn't fair and we should be happy that its not fair, because if it was fair, we would get what we deserved... and that would mostly be bad.
Christ suffered not only for our sins, but also all of our pains, so that life wouldn't have to be fair.
That's pretty amazing, if you think about it.
(but I still wish I could win the lottery and have a perfect family like they do...)<3

If she were here to listen today

Dear G-
I have been thinking about you. Man, you are so missed. Nearly a year and half has passed since you've gone and it is still so hard for me to believe that you are not here. I miss you so much still and can't think about you without nearly crying. No loss has ever hit me in the same way, it is still so unreal as if I will wake up any moment and realize it was all just a bad, bad dream. I did have a dream about you the other night. It is still so clear. You know those dreams that seem so real that you don't realize you're really asleep? When I woke up I was sad to realize it was only a dream and I cried because I wanted it to be real more than you could imagine. You came and told me that you loved me and gave me a big hug. I could actually feel your arms around me! Maybe you knew I needed that and that things are a bit stressful right now and some of the fears I am facing. In life, you were always willing to listen and I could tell you sincerely cared. I know you would still do the same if you were here today. I want to let you know that I appreciate you and love you.

I want to share the words to one of my favorite songs. (I have changed a couple of the words to better suit our relationship as friends).
Love you forever,
Anne

Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory, so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are my
Forever friend
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are my
Forever friend
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away not far
To where you are

I couldn't ask for more!

I had an amazing Independence Day! I feel so blessed to be able to live in America and be able to enjoy the freedoms that we have and, so often, take for granted. We didn't do anything really amazing to celebrate, but I just felt so happy to be able to enjoy such simple things.
1. Yesterday morning I woke up and said to Mom, "Will you go get some pancakes with me?" Kelly, Mom, and I went to Golden Corral and ate more than we needed to and went home full. How many people in this world can only wish for a meal like that? And we left food on our plates because we were stuffed.
2. We went to Wal Mart to get some extra things for our family barbeque we were going to have. Hot dogs, dessert, and lots of extras. All right there in one store. Plenty for anyone who needs it and we had the money in our pockets.
3. We spent the day getting the house and yard ready for the family to come. I feel blessed that we have a home that we can celebrate in with friends and family. A nice yard to relax in and feel the blessings of living in a beautiful, free country. Even when it has to be cleaned and the water fountain breaks, causing stress.
4.We had a barbeque dinner with the family (except Michael and Natalie, who are at her family's reunion, and Will, who had to work). Again, there was more than enough food for everyone to get more than their fill. We are blessed to be able to live so close together and see each other pretty much when ever we want to. We spent the night eating, relaxing, laughing, and swooning over a brand new baby, who other than a bout with jaundice, was born perfectly healthy to loving parents in a clean hospital, by means of quality medical attention and with care and supplies necessary to start out strong and healthy.





5. We were able to see much of the fireworks show from all the way across town. We sat on our front lawn and watched neighborhood children setting off fireworks late into the evening, beautiful reminders of our fight for independence over 200 years ago. "And the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night that our flag was still there."

I am so grateful to live in this country and to be able to feel God's protection over His promised land.


God Bless The USA
by Lee Greenwood

If tomorrow all the things were gone,
I’d worked for all my life.
And I had to start again,
with just my children and my wife.

I’d thank my lucky stars,
to be livin here today.
‘Cause the flag still stands for freedom,
and they can’t take that away.

And I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

From the lakes of Minnesota,
to the hills of Tennessee.
Across the plains of Texas,
From sea to shining sea.

From Detroit down to Houston,
and New York to L.A.
Well there's pride in every American heart,
and its time we stand and say.

That I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

And I’m proud to be and American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

Introducing Jude William Watts

He's finally here! The boy we have been waiting for for so long! Jude was born this morning, June 30, 2009 at 7:54 am weighing 8 pounds 1 ounce and 20 inches long. He is perfect and beautiful, so chill, relaxed, and easy going. He doesn't cry too much and when he does most just whimpers. He completely enjoyed his time on the baby warmer, it reminded me of a tanning bed or something. He is happy and beautiful and we love him so much.

Mothers

I know it's a bit late, but I want to say thank you to all the mothers in my life. Those that I know, those that are an example to me of what I hope to become some day, those that have been a "mother" to me in so many ways, and especially my own special mother and grandmother who have been there for me since the day I was born. I am so grateful to Heavenly Father for putting so many caring and amazing women in my life. I wish I could name them all, but that would be impossible, and I would probably forget someone.
On Sunday morning (Mother's Day), I fell into a very deep and detailed dream early in the morning involving Ginger. She was a wonderful mother who was taken from her children too soon. This was the first Mother's Day since her death almost a year ago. I wish I could remember the dream better, but my mom woke me up before it was over so that I could go to church. I awoke feeling sad and lonely, wanting to be able spend more time with her, even if only in my dreams. I wish I could have seen her more and talked with her more before she left this life. She is a great example of a loving, spiritual mother.

Inspired

I have been thinking about one of my life long friends, Ginger, who passed away almost a year ago. A few weeks ago, her family and friends all joined together in her memory and ran in the "Great Race," a race that she had done just two months before she passed away. As she was getting ready to participate, she had written on her blog "tomorrow's the big day! at 7:30am I'm running in the Agoura Great Race 5k, my very first race ever! I'm so NOT a runner and I've only been "training" ... for about 3 weeks. yikes! what am I thinking?? I'm thinking that it will be fun and great exercise, right? ... Jason is also running the 5k, but I told him I don't want to run "with" him. I don't want to run beside anyone I know. I don't want to feel like I'm holding anyone back or (and I doubt this will be a problem) I don't want to BE held back by anyone. I want to feel free run at my own pace, that's all. I'm sure it would be special to cross the finish line as a couple and all, but oh well! I wanted to have a goal for the 5k, so here's mine: I want to finish in 30 minutes or less. I'm not even sure that's realistic, but that's an average of 10 minutes per mile. surely I can do that, right? thinking positive thoughts...... wish me luck and I'll post my time tomorrow."
And then .... "29:59:55 yes!! under 30 minutes! I knew I could do it! :) "

After she passed away, one of her brothers had made a touching comment on her blog that shows an amazing amount of faith and is full of hope and determination. He wrote,
"Ginge, you ran a great race and you finished at 30 (at least this leg of the race). You didn't let anyone hold you back, but you definitely helped countless others along your way. You broke the tape first in our family and we look forward to seeing you when we cross the line and giving you a huge Ginger-style victory hug on the other side of the finish line. Until then, we know you will be watching us, cheering us on."

I want to be able to leave that kind of imprint on the hearts of those around me. I want to inspire them to be better, to reach higher, to push a little longer. But first . . . I have to become that person. I am on my way. That's MY goal!

Aging beautifully!

Happy Birthday Mom! You look beautiful! I love you.
We had a picnic in the park yesterday that Mike and Natalie planned as a surprise for Mom's birthday. The weather was amazing and we had a great time.

It's getting harder and harder to wait

Jude William Watts 26 weeks.
Every time Erin comes over with new pictures I get so excited. We can hardly wait for our new little Jude and we are all waiting impatiently for April and May to pass. I am amazed more and more each time I look at the new pictures. I can't believe what technology can do now! Look at his face! He is so adorable. Erin disagrees, but I think he looks like her. This picture is the wallpaper on my cellphone now and I can't stop looking at him. He is amazing! I'm gonna be an aunt!

Merry Christmas To All!!!!

Remember Christ's love at this time and His sacrifice for us.

Book Club

Book buddies! I love this and our expressions are awesome! You just gots to love a good book and how it brings sisters together.